


Barnmates' Dream

by Cacatoace



Series: Barnmates' Dream [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22887811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cacatoace/pseuds/Cacatoace
Summary: Lapis and Peridot find themselves in danger where everything seems lost.Are we doomed or is there any hope ?Is fusion really The answer ?...Fight or Flight ? By Peridot and Lapis.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: Barnmates' Dream [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1645240
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis has nightmares. Peridot help her.

During her sessions of experimenting sleep, Lapis had found out why Steven warned her about « nightmare ».  
She was in the barn, with Peridot, her barnmate, who was typing on her communication pad, and with Pumpkin, their living vegetable, resting peacefully on the ground. Lapis was in her hammock and she was starting to slowly fall into Morpheus' arms.

Then, she was in the mirror, or at the bottom of the ocean, chained to Jasper, maybe both. Although she knows that these times were over, she continues to relive them again and again, feeling again oppression, loneliness, insecurity, isolation and all those dark thoughts she thinks has surpassed.  
"No no no, it's over, it's over, I know everything is false ! I'm in the barn, with Peridot and Pumpkin, and ... and I'm no longer in the mirror ! Or fused with Jasper ! It’s over ... yeah ... right ? ... it's over and those feelings are false, right ? ... that must be ... I'm free ... Right ? …" 

She woke up, sweating and trembling, her cheeks dripping with tears. Peridot was holding her by the shoulders, shaking her, saying something that Lapis couldn't hear for the moment. In shock, she tried to get up. Losing her balance, she fell off the hammock, hitting her face against the ground.  
"Lapis !" Peridot knelt to try to help her regain her composure and grabbed her hand. Lapis, surprised by the unexpected contact, drew back, trying to spread her wings to go out in order to get some air, but slammed her body against the opposite wall.

"Lapis !! Oh my stars are you okay ?!…"  
Lapis has regained her sens, looked up and saw her roommate with worried eyes and a panicked expression.  
"… Lapis ?…"  
"... Peridot…?"  
"Yeah. Yeah, it's me, it’s Peridot… It’s just me… Can- Can I come closer ?"  
"Please…"  
Peridot approached slowly, trying not to scare her roommate again. She sat down, slipping on her knees, approaching Lapis cautiously, doing her best to move as silently as possible, when she suddenly felt two strong arms around her. The blue gem, who was hugging her, letting her tears flow freely and began to cry. Peridot hugged her back and began to draw circles on Lapis' back, around her gem, to calm her friend, murmuring reassuring words in her ear.  
"It's me, it's okay, you're fine ..." Lapis let out another sob, "You are safe… We’re in the barn, Pumpkin is sleeping and ..."  
"I'm sorry ... It's so stupid, I'm so stu ..."  
"Sch ... it's okay ... Don't say that, you're not ..."

Lapis had begun to rest on Peridot's shoulder. Their embrace was so warm and secure ; neither of them wanted to end this moment.  
"It was another nightmare right ?..."  
"Yeah ..."  
Peridot knew that Lapis was physically and mentally exhausted, and the tall girl clearly didn't want to talk about it now, so she decided to let it go. She undid their embrace and looked at Lapis in the eyes.  
"Come with me, it's still night and you have to rest." She helped Lapis get up and put her in the bed. She slipped under the sheets too and turned off her tablet. It was a calm night, Lapis holding her hand tightly, snoring, and Peridot finally fell asleep.

The day after, during an intense CPH viewing session, Steven came over the two barnmates ;  
"Hey guys ! Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet and Bismuth went on a mission so Connie and I wanted to know if you would like to explore a place with us."  
"Yes, sure. Where do you want to go ?"  
"Well there is this weird place ... We went there once but nothing happened. We couldn't explore the whole place, but I feel that there is something really strange and cool to discover! "  
"Why not, what do you say Peridot ?"  
Peridot looked up from her tablet where she was arguing with haters to defend her beloved ship ; Pierre and Percy.  
"I say we should go see this strange place !" 


	2. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The strange place was an island where a threat was hiding.

How could they have suspected that it was hiding such a danger on this island? ...  
Shortly after the start of their exploration, two gigantic shadows had emerged from the jungle and now the fun adventure had turned into a nightmare confrontation.

Lapis opened her eyes ; everything around her was all dust and smoke.  
"WATCH OUT !"  
Peridot pushed her before a giant fist hitted the point where she was.

"Lapis ! Are you okay !?"  
"Yeah, I think… and you ? Where are Steven and Connie ?"  
"Its okay they are okay for now on. Stevonnie is facing the other monster at the other side of the beach ; don’t worry, they got this. Together, they are unstoppable ! Like us right ?"  
"Against a thing like that ; I hope that you are right… DODGE IT ! »

Both of them steped back. Peridot tooked a more analytical look at the creature :  
"…That thing… there is at least two gem on it… It is a fusion of two corrupted gem ! This is bigger, stronger and even more dangerous than anything we’ve ever fought…"  
"But we are strong too ; let’s show it how the Barnmates are the dreamteam !"  
"Oh yeah : ready when you are !"

After a few minutes of fighting…

"… This thing…"  
"…Yeah. It’s too strong for us."  
"W-Wait Lapis !… Let me think of something !…"  
Taking advantage of this moment of inattention, the creature leaps onto Peridot.  
"PERIDOT !!!"  
Lapis had just enough time to create a water prison to hold the monster, but for how long ...  
"Peridot we can’t… ! This monster… is going to shatter us… I can’t hold it forever. It’s over…"  
"No ! Lapis please !"   
"… I’m sorry. I thought I could win, I thought we could win. But let's face it ; I was wrong all along. I’m weak. All I can do is hold it a little more. So please ; get away from here. Go get Stevonnie and get out of this place…"  
"… There is no way I’m going without my barnmate."


	3. No other choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Peridot are fighting over the monster. Desperation takes hold of Lapis but Peridot is determined to save her.

I promise it’s going to be okay ; I will save you and we will go back to the barn together !"  
"You can’t beat this thing !! It will shatter you !"  
"We will be shattered if we don't do a thing ; I will not let this happen !"  
"I won't too."  
"… Lapis ?…"  
Lapis held out her trembling hand to Peridot who instantly understood what Lapis was thinking.   
That's right ; in Homeworld, fusion was only used to make gems stronger. The creature in front of them was a living proof, the incarnation of power and rage that was fiercely struggling in the water prison.  
"It's the only way…"  
"No… "  
"We have no other choice ..."  
"…"  
"It's okay ... I can ..."  
Peridot glanced at Lapis, trembling, frightened, who seemed so small, so vulnerable. She looked like she was all by herself, back to a giant wall. She was standing herself, a habit she kept from being alone all this time. Peridot looked at Lapis’s hand and then deep in her blues eyes.  
"Peridot, hurry up! I can't hold it back anymore !"  
"No !"  
Peridot used her metal power to put Lapis inside a protective shield.  
"Peridot !!! What are you doing !?! Let me go !"  
"You're completely lost so let me show you a way of doing. We will be going home in no time because me, the great Peridot, will be the worst nightmare of this monster in a short time, so watch me."

Peridot was facing the monster that had escaped from the water prison. She climbed onto a large metal pillar and began flying around the thing avoiding its destructive arms that swayed in all directions. The green gem was levitating dozens of metal rods, throwing them one by one on the creature, who seemed to be invincible, continuing its attacks, Peridot dodging them. But the thing was swinging its arms like a madman even faster than before. Peridot was hit by one and thrown against a wall.  
"Peridot !!!"

Peridot was clearly damaged. She got up with difficulties. She looked at Lapis, who was safe in her metal cage, smiled at her, then looked at the monster with murderous eyes.  
"Listen here, you clod ! One last attack and you will be down !"

She flown in the air with the metal bar, rising high in the sky preparing her last rush.  
Then, suddenly, she split the air like an arrow in full speed, running straight on the monster who was impaled by the pillar but, in a last movement, the creature gave a big blow to her opponent.  
"NOOOO !!!" 


	4. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Lapis is searching for help. Peridot is in need for help.

"PERIDOT !!!!"  
Lapis finally came out of her metal cage and rushed to the battlefield. The monster got up, looking ready to attack again but immediately poofed. Lapis put it in a bubble, her eyes scanning the place with the hope of seeing her little friend safe. Her vision stopped on a green body lying on the ground. Lapis ran towards her. She took her in her arms and grabbed her hand. Peridot seemed badly damaged. Then she saw it. Her gem. Cracked.  
"Peridot ! ... Please ! Open your eyes !"  
No answer  
"Peridot ... No ... you can't !"  
She felt a slight pressure on her hand. Peridot tried to open her mouth to speak but a glitch came and she was twisted with pain.  
"Peridot !!! Don't worry, I'm going to get Steven. He will heal you ! Stay with me please !"  
Another pressure. Another glitch.  
Lapis unfolded her wings and got hight into the sky, closely holding Peridot.

Her eyes swept the landscape in search of Steven.  
She found him and Connie on the other side of the beach.  
"Steven !!! Peridot ; she needs help please !!!" Lapis landed next to them.  
"What happened ?" Steven licked his hand and placed it on Peridot's gem.  
"There was this monster ... and we were fighting it ... and then I thought if it was over ... and Peridot … she fought it on her own and ..." Connie put her hand on Lapis' shoulder.  
"Lapis, calm down. It's okay, she'll be fine ; Look."  
Lapis looked at Peridot; the healing power seemed to work and her green gem began to repair itself. Lapis let out a sigh of relief, squeezing the little hand as if she never wanted to let her go.


	5. Discord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The barn is quiet. Lapis and Peridot are on a disagreement.

After telling the Cristal Gem about this misadventure, an official mission was organized and the expedition ended there; all the monsters were bubbled.  
Everyone had gone home ; Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, Steven and Connie at Beach City, Bismuth had gone back to her forge and Lapis and Peridot were back at the barn where Pumpkin was waiting for them.

When she woke up, Peridot had to face Lapis' anger and since then, they had not spoken to each other. Lapis was giving her the silence treatment and Peridot has decided to roll with it from now ; she felt like Lapis was in right to be mad at her and decided to give her some time before facing the blue gem.

The day passed slowly without any noise in the barn. Then, in the evening, Lapis went to take refuge on the roof to reflect on what had happened. And she fell asleep.

That night, Lapis closed her eyes and had a nightmare. This time, however, no mirror and no Jasper, only Peridot’s gem, in her hands, broken into a thousand pieces.

Lapis woke up with a startle, and saw Peridot by her side with a worried expression. Even if they were sulking over eachother the all day, her barnmate was here for her when she need her the most. Lapis jumped up, grabbed Peridot’s head, inspected her gem, intact, and a few tears fell from her cheeks.   
Peridot had understood what had scared Lapis and tried to reassure her :

"Hey… Lapis, it’s okay ; I’m okay. Look, I promise ; my gem is as perfect as always. Steven is a very good healer. You don’t have to worry about this ; in a few time, we will forget this bad day."

Lapis wiped her wet cheeks and said angrily :

"You were too careless…"

"… I did win, and I kept my promise ; we are back in the barn, together."

"How could you say that this calmly ?! We had almost loose you ! I don't care about this promise ! If you had lost, this promise would have been a big lie ! You could had save me but not you ! We are supposed to win together and we are supposed to get back home together ! Do you have any ideas of what I could become without you ?!..."

"... It's over now. We won and we are home safe ; that's all that matter. »

"You could have been shattered !"  
"If I hadn't done it, we would both have been shattered ! I wanted to make sure you were safe ! Because, on this battlefield, your safety was the only thing that mattered to me. I took this risk because there was no other possibility ! It was my decision and the only thing I could do there."  
Lapis looked at her barnmate, then buried herself in her own arms.   
"It's false..."  
"What ?..."   
"It's false ! I've offered you another solution ! We could have..."  
"Fused."  
Lapis froze on place.


	6. Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot explain why she chose to do what she did.

"Yeah, I knew what you meant before. The hand and all. That's why I chose to fight that thing on my own."  
Lapis was unsure of what to think, too much thoughts running in her mind at this point. Peridot quickly corrected herself.  
"Don't imagine that I don't want to fuse with you ! It's not that. It's just..."  
Peridot have stopped, very nervous and thinking of what she could say. This time, it was Lapis turn to make sure her friend was conformable with her thoughts.  
"Peridot, it's okay, you can tell me. I promise I won't get mad and I won't run away and ..."   
"I know Lapis, I trust you, it's not like that... It's ..."  
Peridot looked up at her barnmate, who was gently smiling at her. She took a deep breath.  
"The moment when you were asking me to fuse, it reminded you of the one when Jasper and you fused into Malachite, am I right ?"  
Lapis have stopped smiling. Peridot continued talking.  
"Lapis, you were forcing yourself to think that fusing was the only solution. Even if it was, I couldn't think of making you feels like you were forced to fuse to protect someone. And I couldn't let you do this to yourself.   
I mean…Your body and your mind refusing that. I saw it Lapis… You were terrified, shaking, I saw that you didn't wanted it… If you don't want it, then I don't want it either. As long as you don't feel ready, then we will wait for the time it takes and if you want my help, I'd be happy to support you."

Peridot had noticed the tears falling on Lapis's cheeks. She turned to face the tall girl and used her thumb to wipe the tears away from her face. Their eyes met and Peridot made the most sincere smile at her crying friend. Then she looked at the night-sky, especially the galaxy of Homeworld, which was particularly visible on that night.  
"I know that in Homeworld, fusion is made to make multiple gems stronger. And if we ever fused, we might have an extra set of arms, we might be taller and stronger but it doesn't mean anything if we are not okay together, both of us making this decision, not because we are forced or because we don’t have another solution but because that it’s our choice being together. »

How is that possible that there is someone this kind, caring and supportive that she can call her friend ? Lapis questioned herself and didn't even notice that her smile was back on her face.   
As Lapis’s tears faded away, Peridot took her hand and point at the scenery.   
"Look around us ; the blooming nature and our beautiful countryside. Here, we are on Earth. We can choose who we want to become. On Earth, you have the right to have that choice and to make it only yours."  
Peridot looked at Lapis with glowing eyes.   
"Earth is somehow a little magic. Back in Homeworld, I already knew what I was supposed to do and who I was supposed to be my whole existence but on Earth, we are free to be us."  
Peridot took Lapis’s other hand.  
"You know Lapis, I think I have found my happiness, here, on Earth.   
At first, I choose to come here because I thought : "That mission must be easy, I just have to check this miserable colony". But now, look at me now ! I wish I could have show this old Peridot who I am now, and saying to her face "You big clod ! Look at what you are missing !"  
And she could see how my days here are better than everting I could have ever wished. I live in the countryside, in a barn, and have a communication pad. I watch CPH and take care of Pumpkin everyday. I have friends that care about me.   
And I obviously have the most wonderful, beautiful and amazing barnmate that can possibly exist in the whole universe."  
Lapis let out a small laugh while her cheeks turned to darker shade of blue.


	7. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis have a discussion about fusion.

The old Peridot could never have believed that stargazing with someone was so enjoyable. It was one of the thoughts that had crossed the mind of the green gem during the long minutes of comfortable silence with Lapis. Her friend always seemed to have something in mind; Peridot chose to ask her about it :  
"Lapis? ..."  
"Yeah?"  
"Is everything alright? You seem to have something else to say ... "

Peridot says this with his most encouraging smile and reassuring eyes. Lapis turned to face her and, finding only love and understanding in her expression, after a short moment of reflection, she finally opened her mouth :

" … Do you think I will ever be able to fuse again ?"

So that's what this is about.

"… I think that there is no need to rush. Take all the time you need. And even if you can't fuse again, it's gonna be okay. You don’t have to fuse. You have a choice."

After a few seconds :

"If I am ready to fuse one day, could it be with you ?"  
"…"

"I- I am sorry ! I shouldn't have ask ! It's just..."  
"No ! It's not that ! I'd love to fuse with you ! I can’t actually imagine myself fusing with someone else than you…! W-Wait, I mean ! …"  
Peridot was intensely blushing. Lapis was surprised by the sudden declaration but began laughing at her panicked friend who manage to compose herself and laughed too. 

The two gems had finally calmed down and Peridot started to answer Lapis :

"You know, I don't even know if I can fuse. Garnet already have proposed me to fuse with her but I was not ready. Plus, I am an era 2 Peridot ; I don't even know if I have the capacity to fuse even if I want to. But if on Earth, two completely different gems can fuse, and if a gem can fuse with a human, then I want to believe that I, an era 2 Peridot, can fuse.   
I think we could said that fusion is not just a way for multiple to make one. Each of them is different. And I am truly sorry that yours was something like Her.   
If Garnet is a conversation and Stevonie is an experience, then I want us to be a choice, a relationship, a mutual yes, a promise."  
Peridot took both of Lapis's hands, hold them tight and looked at her with sincere and determined eyes.  
"Lapis, I promise you, I won't let us be like Her. I won't let our relationship become one of your nightmares. And I promise that you will get the happiness you deserve. I will help you live like you were in a waking dream that never end."

"Oh Peridot… You already are a part of my everyday waking dream."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for bad English ( I'm a French baguette ) 
> 
> That's my first fanfiction and I've been working on it for a long time.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
